2009 has been a bitch of a year for us to say the least! Sorry about that...but that is just the nicest way to describe it! Don, My husband of 19 years was diagnosed with Hepatitis C. We found out that he was in stage 3 cirrhosis with Varaces. He has been on the standard treatment for almost a year now - chemotherapy..yes the same drugs they give to cancer patients, trying to rid his body of the Hep. and therefor slowing down the degeneration of his liver...
The best dog in the whole world..my Chrissy had to be put down at the young age of 11 after a heart wrenching week of trying to stop a sudden on slot of seizures.
My very first show horse had to be put down at the age of 20 with the discovery of intestinal tumors and severe colic.
KC chased a rabbit into the road and was hit by a car. Thankfully he survived, but he had a terrible concussion that has left him 'not quite the same'.
This little lamb was born and rejected by his Momma, leaving us with a new pet that had to be fed every 4-6 hours!
..and finally - I was trying to deal with a gelding who was talented out the wazoo...but also had a bit of a mean streak...
..with all that I was dealing with, I sadly became a timid rider and could not discipline him to take care of this..
..and this. All I found myself thinking during these temper tantrums was "What happens if I get hurt?" How irresponsible would that be to Don who was doing so much to take care of himself during his treatment?This horse almost broke me.....
I sat in the bathtub..water running..hoping that the noise would drowned out my sobs. I was so emotionally bruised I questioned God openly if He had stopped loving me. I had an open conversation with Him and honestly asked Him to remove the passion inside of me for Saddlebreds and tell me what He wanted me to do. I vowed to Him that if He wanted me to walk away from them, I would...and I truly meant it!
Getting a bit obnoxious - I even 'told' Him that if He did not remove this from me, He had better show me what he wanted me to do with it! (yeah - I am shocked that I am still walking on the earth too!)
Very shortly after this deeply honest painful request...things started to fall into place. Information about riding aside kept falling into my lap. I found a wonderful affordable saddle at the same time some money came to me I was not expecting. My instructor told me that although she was not an accredited sidesaddle instructor, she used to show Arabians aside and was willing to instruct me when I told her of my interest. I found out that the Saddlebred show rules allowed women to show aside in any class with the exception of Equitation....and best of all... Heaven and Earth (Oliver or Ollie) came into my life..my beautiful and Oh so talented Sidesaddle horse! I could go on and on and on with more details!
I truly believe that this was a gift from God. He heard my cries that night and in all His Mercy...He understood my pain.
Edited to add:
OMG - How in the world did I forget to mention that my Fibroid tumors grew at the speed of light this year..so that I had to have a totally abdominal hysterectomy in August???